Air guitars and the best karaoke in Milwaukee

Sometimes, it's the little stuff, like inflatable guitars, that make all the difference.

Years before I met my darling wife, she threw a bat mitzvah party for her daughter. She visited Oriental Trading Company to find party decorations. Among other things, she bought some inflatable guitars.

There were a few guitars left over from the party, and they languished in the basement for years, lonely and dejected, until I found them. "Oh! Wouldn't it be cool if I took one of these babies to karaoke?"

And it was cool. People actually played air guitar. A lot of people played air guitar. A lot of adults actually played air guitar. Some of the adults (although a minority) were actually sober! Wow. That was a surprise. A bit weird, but, you know, it's all part of the fun. And if it's not fun, then what fun is it anyway? It's no fun to not have fun, you know?

That first air guitar found a friend when I wasn't looking, and left the bar with another guy. That was a sad day for me. Almost as sad as the part in The Velveteen Rabbit where the little boy loved all the fur off the bunny. Bittersweet... I was sad that the guitar was gone but happy that someone had cared enough about the guitar to steal it from me.

(This is not a picture of the Velveteen Rabbit getting its fur loved off, BTW. This is a real rabbit, being picked up by a girl. To give you an idea of the size of the rabbit, the girl is 6' 3". Or something like that. The rabbit just got into the Guinness Book of World Records.)

I was downcast and forlorn when my dear wife found me curled up in the fetal position in my closet. She spoke to me words that even to this day, almost two years later, words that I can never forget. "Honey, don't be downcast and forlorn." And then she told me that there will be other Velveteen Air Guitars. When I got over the trauma of losing my beloved inflatable guitar, I dug another one from the basement.

That one lasted one night before all the air got loved out of it. It popped. Isn't that just like an inflatable friend?

So... I had to make my own trip to the Oriental Trading Company. I bought a dozen of the silly things. Needless to say, none of the inflatable guitars ever found a place in my heart like that first one, you know? I mean, can you ever really forget your first air guitar?

But this next dozen did get used. Some of the air guitar players played mellow and dulcet tones. Some played the heaviest of metal that you can get with air. But believe me, some of the coolest people in the known universe have played my air guitars. Don't believe me? Have a look!

And I started giving them away. Sometimes it was part of a contest. Sometimes it was a birthday. And sometimes Sven or I were just so overwhelmed with a performance that we had to show our appreciation. It's kind of like a Grammy, only without all the glitz and fame and recording contracts.

And so it came to be that a lady by the name of Anne ventured onto the stage at Bootleggers to perform Lady GaGa, backed up with an entourage of dancer. Well... if you could call Mitchell an entourage. I thought he was entourage-like.

Well... whatever.

They were good. Anne sang well, Mitchell danced well. But more than that... they put on a performance. The crowd loved them. And Sven awarded them a ceremonial air guitar.

Months later, I got an email about a birthday party gig. It was from Anne. She told me that her air guitar / Grammy award was proudly sitting near her desk at work. Anyone who didn't run away fast enough got to hear of the legendary performance by Lady Anne-Anne and the Mitchell Dance Entourage.

So, I ran karaoke for her birthday party. It was a blast. She loved it. I loved it. Mitchell danced again, and even sang. I think he loved it, to. The Velveteen Rabbit unfortunately couldn't make it that night.

Little was I to know that this wasn't just any Lady Anne. Little was I to know that the Grammy / guitar lived in the offices of Milwaukee Magazine! Yes, that Anne!!  My Lady Anne-Anne  wasn't just any Anne. She was  Anne-who-worked-at-Milwaukee-Magazine.

Friends in high places, lemme tell ya.

And so it was that after sampling karaoke at all the famous spots in town, karaoke at Bootleggers (Monday nights) was chosen as Milwaukee Magazine's Best Karaoke Place. Was it the awesome place, Bootleggers? With a sound system that totally rocks?  Was it the hundreds of people who throng to the place? Was it the party environment engendered by the geniality of the karaoke hosts? Was it the fact that Sven and I exude contagious fun-ness?

Or was it the inflatable guitar?  Sometimes, it's the little things.

I would like to thank all the little people that made my Grammy award possible. I would especially like to thank my wife, the Gypsy Songstress, who has been my inspiration. Oh, and Sven, too. It's your award as well.

Seriously, it is a great feeling to be recognized for doing something well that you enjoy doing.