Karen Valentines' Day

I woke up this morning thinking about Karen Valentine. Not really sure why. Maybe I should ask my wife if today is some special day today that would remind me of Karen? Or maybe I won't ask her.

Karen Valentine, of course, played a teacher in the early 1970's sitcom Room 222. Now I'll tell you everything I can remember about the TV show. It was a sitcom about a teacher who taught in room 222 in a school somewhere. There were students, I think. And some other teachers, maybe. And some contrived, but mildly funny stuff happened. And there was the aptly named Karen Valentine. She was so uber-cute. Her face was indelibly etched into my pre-pubescent and partly pubescent mind. I swear, I could recognize a jpeg image of her with just three pixels.

Why was she so memorable, and the show not so much? You could take a few guesses. Either 1) the show was just plain stupid, like any other early 70's sitcom, 2) my memory from those years was destroyed by trying to keep up with Andre the Giant in drinking beer, or 3) I watched the show with my pre-pubescent mind, and she was uber-cute. Any or all of these guesses may be true.

Andre the Giant and Robin Wright in Princess Bride

Speaking of Andre, I just read an interesting factoid about him. Wikipedia (which is the authoritative source for all celebrity gossip) states that on at least three occasions, he drank in excess of 100 beers in one sitting. This has been an inspiration for me. I have been trying to bulk up so that I (like he) can become a pro wrestler. But, since I lack the necessary culture and refinement for pro wrestling, I may have to settle for being an opera singer. At any rate, I know I need to find a fall back career. My days as an applied mathematician are numbered, since nearly every number has already been computed.

Anyway, back to Karen Valentine. As I lay in bed this morning, thinking of her, naturally I started pondering about whether she had sung karaoke. Gosh, wouldn't it be neat if she was discovered when she was singing karaoke? As my faithful reader(s) will know, my search for a singer who was discovered through karaoke has been tireless. I have researched Mary J. Blige and Koko Lee, Tommy DeCarlo of Boston, Garrett Hedlund, who appeared with Gwenyth Paltrow in the movie "Country Strong", Arnel Pineda of Journey, Taylor Swift, the group Steel Magnolias, and most recently James Garner.

Discovered by singing karaoke?

Although my search has been valiant and tireless, it has also been fruitless. Could Karen Valentine be my first fruit?

I grabbed my brand new Kindle Fire and looked her up on Wiki. Gosh darn it, was I in luck! Ed Sullivan saw Karen lip-syncing to the song Blame it on the Bossa Nova, and said he wanted her on his show. Not only that, but she was caught a second time lip-syncing and got the job on Room 222 when she was seen lip-syncing.

Now, I realize that lip-syncing is not as respected as karaoke. I would argue, however, that lip-syncing feeds the same neurological dysfunction as karaoke. Both serve to lead you to believe, if only for the moment, that you too are famous. I would say that lip-syncing is the moral equivalent of karaoke.

Milli Vanilli

Ok, so you are not convinced that Karen Valentine's lip-syncing is the same as being discovered singing karaoke? Yeah. Me neither. But... another thing to consider is that karaoke wasn't around in 1969 when Karen was on her way to becoming every pre-pubescent boy's Valentine. Karaoke didn't get its start until 1971. Furthermore, although it was invented in 1971, karaoke had no purpose until Don't Stop Believin' was released in 1981. There just wasn't a need for it.

I know some of my readers may deprecate lip-syncing, or may even express strong disapproval of it. Before you cast judgment, I implore you to watch this entire lip-sync video.

Enjoy!

Coverage of Victoria's Secret fashion show

You may be asking yourself why John the Revelator is posting a blog about a fashion show. The connection may seem tenuous, but consider this. Fashions shows, like karaoke, are all about people getting up on stage and making a fools of themselves to music. The only real difference that I can see is that fashion models don't have to be drunk.

I hope these photos that I purloined from Fox News will give you a taste of what the tasty and tasteful ladies will be wearing to the bedroom this coming year. I know I am looking forward to my wife, the Gypsy Songstress modelling these for me!

Starting off the show, we see this refined assemblage of bewitching underthings coupled with an understated Bozo wig. Turquoise and coral with cyan have always been my favorite set of clashing colors.

Next on the runway, we see an equally appealing collage of discordant colors in this combination super-hero costume and para-sailing outfit. Holey Underwear, Batman!

 If you are like me (and let's face it, who isn't?) you probably have a thing for fairies. I mean the kind that run around the woods at night, half nekkid, of course. Wait a sec... I have seen both kinda of fairies doing that. If that's your thing, then you will be glad I included a picture of this enchanting outfit.

And what lingerie ensemble is complete without dual shoulder-mounted parasols to protect those delicate dual shoulder-mounted shoulders from the scorching sun while she walks her dog through the boudoir.

I am proud to say that the dog she is walking is actually our very own shitsu-bichon mix, Truffle. He enjoyed the dog walk on the cat walk so much that he didn't mind having to swallow that pesky umbrella that is poking out of his tummy.

Next up is Stella, looking like a stellated icosahedron in heels. And feathers. Yes. Feathers are always a nice touch.

We have here a darling lady who decided to embroider her Mousketeer ears, and add ribbons. Annette Funicello, eat your heart out.

The outfit below won the hard-fought contest for the most daring use of colors that really don't go together. Ever. This coveted prize was presented by Stevie Wonder.

As I said, these photos are provided by the largess of Fox News. And speaking of largess, I would like to end this charming exhibitionist exhibition with the largess-est of all. What woman would not love to accentuate her caboose with this outfit that is just too-too much. This will definitely be in the package arriving at my doorstop. I cannot wait.

US karaoke listings

I stumbled across a useful site today. This site lists karaoke venues all across the US: http://www.karaokeacrossamerica.com/
 

The site is attractive and quite user friendly. You give it a location (City and State) and you get a map and a listing of karaoke within a given radius.

I applaud the efforts of Steve Hess to help everyone find their karaoke fix.

If you like the site, it is time to get busy. Currently, there are (I think) about 1200 listings in his database. But, he only shows 2 of the 199 listings that I have on my website. Enter your favorite gigs. Many hands make light work.

The Soundies

Before MTV invented the music video, there were the soundies. In the early 1940's, soda shops and nightclubs had a box called a Panoram. For a dime, you could watch a loop tape with eight music videos on this video jukebox.

I have collected a few soundies below for your delectation. My thanks to the American Jazz Museum in Kansas City for their exhibit on Soundies.

Here is one of my favorite karaoke numbers: Minnie the Moocher, by Cab Calloway.


Here is another song that I love. The harmony of the Jordanaires is just crazy. I am sure a musicologist would be able to tell you something like "they make extensive use of the flatted fifth". I dunno. I just think it sounds cool. Juke Box Saturday Night, Glenn Miller


Here's a song that I think I need to learn: Caldonia,by  Louis Jordan.


I first heard the Bette Midler version of this song. One one way, it's sad that Midler basically stole the song - offering very little creative input. On the other hand, it got me to know the song and the Andrews Sisters' harmony. And Bette Midler has always been a heartthrob for me! Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy, as performed by the Andrew Sisters.


There was some jitterbugging in Juke Box Saturday Night, but the dancing in Hellzapoppin' is completely awesome.You have to see this to believe it.


Duke Ellington - what more can I say? Here is  Cottontail, with more gymnastic dancing.


Here is another song that I first heard from a more modern group. The Manhattan Transfer did this song back when I was first listening to music. Here is the Nat King Cole trio doing Route 66. You gotta love Nat's smooth vocal stylings.


That's the end of the reel... time to insert another dime!

Two Duck Feet hit the road!

Back in mid-June, I officially announced that I had hung up my karaoke jockey mic. I intimated that something was going to fill that void, but at the time, I was close-lipped about it. It's time to lift the tarp and have a look at what I have been hiding. Here it is:

A duck?  What?

This is not just any duck. This duck is the logo and mascot for our new business venture. My wife (Madelaine, the Gypsy Songstress) and I have started the company Two Duck Feet. Our goal is to provide website development for small companies that see the need for a website that is distinctive, but yet competitively priced. Getting you feet on the web...

Visit our site. Tell us what you think. And help us out... We are looking for a name for the mascot!!

Thanks for everything, Julie Newmar!

Google Analytics is a great toy. I use it to track the number of visits that my websites get. This particular blog (http://john-the-revelator-does-karaoke.blogspot.com/) is pretty busy, I am proud to say. Since January, this blog has been visited by 3,007 different people from 1,457 different cities in 111 different countries. I have had visitors from every state in the nation, with the exception of Alaska. Sarah is just not that big into karaoke, I guess.

I just noticed something odd, though. A post of mine from the beginning of April suddenly started getting a lot of visits.

From the date I posted (April 3, 2011) to July 22, the page was viewed a total of 177 times by 108 different people. That's kind of impressive, but not totally surprising. I mean... it's about Julie Newmar! And patents! What could be a better prescription for a popular blog post?

But on July 23rd, it took off. There were 27 page views on that one day, and 37 on the next. As I write this (July 25 at 8:30 PM) there have been 15 today.

It is not totally weird for a page to get that many visits. I have a number of popular posts: My post on tele-osculation devices has seen 258 visits in the last month. And nobody even knows what that word means!

What is weird is that it suddenly took off. Up until the beginning of July, the site had not seen more than 9 visits in a day. Holy blog post about Julie Newmar, Batman! I need to get to the bottom of this!  Why am I suddenly getting so many visits?  Could this be the work of the Riddler????

My fingers flashed over the keys at the Google Analytics site. I quickly found that this was probably not the work of one person. The visits came from 62 different cities, with Oxnard, CA, Louisville, KY, Dunn Loring, VA and Parsippany, NJ heading up the list. I am hard pressed to see a pattern.

It occurred to me to check the news to see if Julie Newmar happened to have been in the mews - excuse me - the news recently. Sure enough. I found that, along with Adam West and Burt Ward, she spoke at Comic-Con in San Diego on July 25th, celebrating the 45th anniversary of the Batman TV series.

So, I missed by big chance to see Julie in person. I could have gone to San Diego. Of course, I would have been mostly bored by the conference cuz I am not really all that into comic books. But... I hold on to the hope that Julie herself might read this blog post and send me an email. Maybe she will visit Milwaukee and we can go to Starbucks and talk about patents?

Then again, maybe this post is all about the power of the internet to connect things and also about how to get your website noticed. That part is kinda cool.

Passing the baton...

I got into this hobby job -- being a karaoke DJ -- a bunch of years ago. I described the start in my first blog. I chronicled the start in two more blogs: Singing to the Choir, and Encouragement from my Wife.

I had a lot of fun in this hobby job. Hobbies are supposed to be fun, right? And it's great when you can earn enough money at a hobby to buy the toys that you need to do that hobby. That I did.

But, it was not about making money. And it wasn't even so much about singing karaoke. I could have sung karaoke at any number of places any number of times per week without having to schelp several times my weight in equipment.

It was about people.

I remember vividly a dream that I had while still in high school. I was at a bar (go figger) and Mr. Dumbrowski (proprietor of the bar affectionately known as Dumbo's) was talking to me. "Life..." he said, "... is pipple. Jus' pipple.  Thas it." He held his fingers together, holding his hand up as he said this. Then he poured me another tap beer. I'm not sure what the beer symbolized in the dream. Clearly, it symbolized something else that's important. A few more years of therapy, and perhaps I'll figger that one out?

This blog marks the ending of another era in my life, the ending of the "John the Revelator, KJ par excellence" era. I am stepping aside, and passing the mantle on to a very good friend of mine, Anthony "Sven" Chojnacki. Anthony knows that it's all about pipple. That's how I knew I could pass the business along to him. I invite you to have a look at his site, just unveiled this week.

What's next for me? Stay tuned for the next blog post!