Karen Valentines' Day

I woke up this morning thinking about Karen Valentine. Not really sure why. Maybe I should ask my wife if today is some special day today that would remind me of Karen? Or maybe I won't ask her.

Karen Valentine, of course, played a teacher in the early 1970's sitcom Room 222. Now I'll tell you everything I can remember about the TV show. It was a sitcom about a teacher who taught in room 222 in a school somewhere. There were students, I think. And some other teachers, maybe. And some contrived, but mildly funny stuff happened. And there was the aptly named Karen Valentine. She was so uber-cute. Her face was indelibly etched into my pre-pubescent and partly pubescent mind. I swear, I could recognize a jpeg image of her with just three pixels.

Why was she so memorable, and the show not so much? You could take a few guesses. Either 1) the show was just plain stupid, like any other early 70's sitcom, 2) my memory from those years was destroyed by trying to keep up with Andre the Giant in drinking beer, or 3) I watched the show with my pre-pubescent mind, and she was uber-cute. Any or all of these guesses may be true.

Andre the Giant and Robin Wright in Princess Bride

Speaking of Andre, I just read an interesting factoid about him. Wikipedia (which is the authoritative source for all celebrity gossip) states that on at least three occasions, he drank in excess of 100 beers in one sitting. This has been an inspiration for me. I have been trying to bulk up so that I (like he) can become a pro wrestler. But, since I lack the necessary culture and refinement for pro wrestling, I may have to settle for being an opera singer. At any rate, I know I need to find a fall back career. My days as an applied mathematician are numbered, since nearly every number has already been computed.

Anyway, back to Karen Valentine. As I lay in bed this morning, thinking of her, naturally I started pondering about whether she had sung karaoke. Gosh, wouldn't it be neat if she was discovered when she was singing karaoke? As my faithful reader(s) will know, my search for a singer who was discovered through karaoke has been tireless. I have researched Mary J. Blige and Koko Lee, Tommy DeCarlo of Boston, Garrett Hedlund, who appeared with Gwenyth Paltrow in the movie "Country Strong", Arnel Pineda of Journey, Taylor Swift, the group Steel Magnolias, and most recently James Garner.

Discovered by singing karaoke?

Although my search has been valiant and tireless, it has also been fruitless. Could Karen Valentine be my first fruit?

I grabbed my brand new Kindle Fire and looked her up on Wiki. Gosh darn it, was I in luck! Ed Sullivan saw Karen lip-syncing to the song Blame it on the Bossa Nova, and said he wanted her on his show. Not only that, but she was caught a second time lip-syncing and got the job on Room 222 when she was seen lip-syncing.

Now, I realize that lip-syncing is not as respected as karaoke. I would argue, however, that lip-syncing feeds the same neurological dysfunction as karaoke. Both serve to lead you to believe, if only for the moment, that you too are famous. I would say that lip-syncing is the moral equivalent of karaoke.

Milli Vanilli

Ok, so you are not convinced that Karen Valentine's lip-syncing is the same as being discovered singing karaoke? Yeah. Me neither. But... another thing to consider is that karaoke wasn't around in 1969 when Karen was on her way to becoming every pre-pubescent boy's Valentine. Karaoke didn't get its start until 1971. Furthermore, although it was invented in 1971, karaoke had no purpose until Don't Stop Believin' was released in 1981. There just wasn't a need for it.

I know some of my readers may deprecate lip-syncing, or may even express strong disapproval of it. Before you cast judgment, I implore you to watch this entire lip-sync video.

Enjoy!

Coverage of Victoria's Secret fashion show

You may be asking yourself why John the Revelator is posting a blog about a fashion show. The connection may seem tenuous, but consider this. Fashions shows, like karaoke, are all about people getting up on stage and making a fools of themselves to music. The only real difference that I can see is that fashion models don't have to be drunk.

I hope these photos that I purloined from Fox News will give you a taste of what the tasty and tasteful ladies will be wearing to the bedroom this coming year. I know I am looking forward to my wife, the Gypsy Songstress modelling these for me!

Starting off the show, we see this refined assemblage of bewitching underthings coupled with an understated Bozo wig. Turquoise and coral with cyan have always been my favorite set of clashing colors.

Next on the runway, we see an equally appealing collage of discordant colors in this combination super-hero costume and para-sailing outfit. Holey Underwear, Batman!

 If you are like me (and let's face it, who isn't?) you probably have a thing for fairies. I mean the kind that run around the woods at night, half nekkid, of course. Wait a sec... I have seen both kinda of fairies doing that. If that's your thing, then you will be glad I included a picture of this enchanting outfit.

And what lingerie ensemble is complete without dual shoulder-mounted parasols to protect those delicate dual shoulder-mounted shoulders from the scorching sun while she walks her dog through the boudoir.

I am proud to say that the dog she is walking is actually our very own shitsu-bichon mix, Truffle. He enjoyed the dog walk on the cat walk so much that he didn't mind having to swallow that pesky umbrella that is poking out of his tummy.

Next up is Stella, looking like a stellated icosahedron in heels. And feathers. Yes. Feathers are always a nice touch.

We have here a darling lady who decided to embroider her Mousketeer ears, and add ribbons. Annette Funicello, eat your heart out.

The outfit below won the hard-fought contest for the most daring use of colors that really don't go together. Ever. This coveted prize was presented by Stevie Wonder.

As I said, these photos are provided by the largess of Fox News. And speaking of largess, I would like to end this charming exhibitionist exhibition with the largess-est of all. What woman would not love to accentuate her caboose with this outfit that is just too-too much. This will definitely be in the package arriving at my doorstop. I cannot wait.

US karaoke listings

I stumbled across a useful site today. This site lists karaoke venues all across the US: http://www.karaokeacrossamerica.com/
 

The site is attractive and quite user friendly. You give it a location (City and State) and you get a map and a listing of karaoke within a given radius.

I applaud the efforts of Steve Hess to help everyone find their karaoke fix.

If you like the site, it is time to get busy. Currently, there are (I think) about 1200 listings in his database. But, he only shows 2 of the 199 listings that I have on my website. Enter your favorite gigs. Many hands make light work.

The Soundies

Before MTV invented the music video, there were the soundies. In the early 1940's, soda shops and nightclubs had a box called a Panoram. For a dime, you could watch a loop tape with eight music videos on this video jukebox.

I have collected a few soundies below for your delectation. My thanks to the American Jazz Museum in Kansas City for their exhibit on Soundies.

Here is one of my favorite karaoke numbers: Minnie the Moocher, by Cab Calloway.


Here is another song that I love. The harmony of the Jordanaires is just crazy. I am sure a musicologist would be able to tell you something like "they make extensive use of the flatted fifth". I dunno. I just think it sounds cool. Juke Box Saturday Night, Glenn Miller


Here's a song that I think I need to learn: Caldonia,by  Louis Jordan.


I first heard the Bette Midler version of this song. One one way, it's sad that Midler basically stole the song - offering very little creative input. On the other hand, it got me to know the song and the Andrews Sisters' harmony. And Bette Midler has always been a heartthrob for me! Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy, as performed by the Andrew Sisters.


There was some jitterbugging in Juke Box Saturday Night, but the dancing in Hellzapoppin' is completely awesome.You have to see this to believe it.


Duke Ellington - what more can I say? Here is  Cottontail, with more gymnastic dancing.


Here is another song that I first heard from a more modern group. The Manhattan Transfer did this song back when I was first listening to music. Here is the Nat King Cole trio doing Route 66. You gotta love Nat's smooth vocal stylings.


That's the end of the reel... time to insert another dime!

Two Duck Feet hit the road!

Back in mid-June, I officially announced that I had hung up my karaoke jockey mic. I intimated that something was going to fill that void, but at the time, I was close-lipped about it. It's time to lift the tarp and have a look at what I have been hiding. Here it is:

A duck?  What?

This is not just any duck. This duck is the logo and mascot for our new business venture. My wife (Madelaine, the Gypsy Songstress) and I have started the company Two Duck Feet. Our goal is to provide website development for small companies that see the need for a website that is distinctive, but yet competitively priced. Getting you feet on the web...

Visit our site. Tell us what you think. And help us out... We are looking for a name for the mascot!!

Thanks for everything, Julie Newmar!

Google Analytics is a great toy. I use it to track the number of visits that my websites get. This particular blog (http://john-the-revelator-does-karaoke.blogspot.com/) is pretty busy, I am proud to say. Since January, this blog has been visited by 3,007 different people from 1,457 different cities in 111 different countries. I have had visitors from every state in the nation, with the exception of Alaska. Sarah is just not that big into karaoke, I guess.

I just noticed something odd, though. A post of mine from the beginning of April suddenly started getting a lot of visits.

From the date I posted (April 3, 2011) to July 22, the page was viewed a total of 177 times by 108 different people. That's kind of impressive, but not totally surprising. I mean... it's about Julie Newmar! And patents! What could be a better prescription for a popular blog post?

But on July 23rd, it took off. There were 27 page views on that one day, and 37 on the next. As I write this (July 25 at 8:30 PM) there have been 15 today.

It is not totally weird for a page to get that many visits. I have a number of popular posts: My post on tele-osculation devices has seen 258 visits in the last month. And nobody even knows what that word means!

What is weird is that it suddenly took off. Up until the beginning of July, the site had not seen more than 9 visits in a day. Holy blog post about Julie Newmar, Batman! I need to get to the bottom of this!  Why am I suddenly getting so many visits?  Could this be the work of the Riddler????

My fingers flashed over the keys at the Google Analytics site. I quickly found that this was probably not the work of one person. The visits came from 62 different cities, with Oxnard, CA, Louisville, KY, Dunn Loring, VA and Parsippany, NJ heading up the list. I am hard pressed to see a pattern.

It occurred to me to check the news to see if Julie Newmar happened to have been in the mews - excuse me - the news recently. Sure enough. I found that, along with Adam West and Burt Ward, she spoke at Comic-Con in San Diego on July 25th, celebrating the 45th anniversary of the Batman TV series.

So, I missed by big chance to see Julie in person. I could have gone to San Diego. Of course, I would have been mostly bored by the conference cuz I am not really all that into comic books. But... I hold on to the hope that Julie herself might read this blog post and send me an email. Maybe she will visit Milwaukee and we can go to Starbucks and talk about patents?

Then again, maybe this post is all about the power of the internet to connect things and also about how to get your website noticed. That part is kinda cool.

Passing the baton...

I got into this hobby job -- being a karaoke DJ -- a bunch of years ago. I described the start in my first blog. I chronicled the start in two more blogs: Singing to the Choir, and Encouragement from my Wife.

I had a lot of fun in this hobby job. Hobbies are supposed to be fun, right? And it's great when you can earn enough money at a hobby to buy the toys that you need to do that hobby. That I did.

But, it was not about making money. And it wasn't even so much about singing karaoke. I could have sung karaoke at any number of places any number of times per week without having to schelp several times my weight in equipment.

It was about people.

I remember vividly a dream that I had while still in high school. I was at a bar (go figger) and Mr. Dumbrowski (proprietor of the bar affectionately known as Dumbo's) was talking to me. "Life..." he said, "... is pipple. Jus' pipple.  Thas it." He held his fingers together, holding his hand up as he said this. Then he poured me another tap beer. I'm not sure what the beer symbolized in the dream. Clearly, it symbolized something else that's important. A few more years of therapy, and perhaps I'll figger that one out?

This blog marks the ending of another era in my life, the ending of the "John the Revelator, KJ par excellence" era. I am stepping aside, and passing the mantle on to a very good friend of mine, Anthony "Sven" Chojnacki. Anthony knows that it's all about pipple. That's how I knew I could pass the business along to him. I invite you to have a look at his site, just unveiled this week.

What's next for me? Stay tuned for the next blog post!

Jack Black karaokes for UNICEF

He played a rocker wannabe in Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny. He played a rocker wannabe in The School of Rock. He played rocker wannabe Paul McCartney in Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story.

Yes, I am talking about Jack Black. It should not be a surprise that he sang a little karaoke for the recent UNICEF benefit. The pic is of him singing War Pigs from Black Sabbath.

Karaoke Suicide - the play

I missed this play: Karaoke Suicide is Painless. I kick myself. But, I was busy that night. Or maybe I wasn't in Seattle? I don't remember. April was sooooo long ago.

The play is described as "A multimedia karaoke comedy that explores the correlation between air guitar and personal choice." That sounds like my kinda stuff. Intellectual and stupid at the same time.

This is a pic of the actress, Teri Wegant.  It really looks like I missed out. I understand that she was in Cider House Rules (I loved the book and was disappointed by the movie.) and also in The Search for Intelligent Life in the Universe.  My daughter did a reading from this Lily Tomlin book when she was in high school, so I have a deep personal connection.

The judge at the forensics meet did not give her the grade that my daughter deserved, by the way. My theory is that crazy people make judges uncomfortable. Like, it's too close to their own inner outer-limits?  I have no clue what that means, but I thought I would throw it in just in case someone thinks I'm brilliant.

Terri Wegant is holding a Shure SM58 mic, BTW. Oh, and she got a great review for the one woman show.

You know... I may have come off sounding a bit sarcastic about the play? Seriously... I do wanna see it. Someone bring it to Milwaukee, ok? Or Madison. I'd drive to Madison to see it. Meet me there. We'll go to Karaoke Kid after and have a good time on State Street, having gyros and way too much beer.


Sigh... just before I posted this blog I heard about yet another karaoke play that I missed, this one in Bloomfield, NJ. This one is a murder mystery, entitled "Karaoke Kills".

Various Paradises

It all started with Bach's Prelude #2 in C minor.



At least, that's what Wikipedia has to say about Stevie Wonder's song: "[Pastime Paradise] drew on the first eight notes and four chords of J.S. Bach's Prelude No. 2 in C minor (BWV 847)"



I had to listen to both songs many times to finally get it. It's there, though. Same chords. But I dunno. Did Stevie Wonder about Johann Sebastian's Box? It seems a bit of a stretch.

Pastime Paradise is track 8 on his Songs in the Key of Life album, which was released in 1976. Rolling Stone ranked this album 56 on their list of 500 greatest albums of all time. I have that album. The song caught me the first time I heard it.

What does the song mean? Back in those days (I should explain), songs had to mean something. ABBA came out with Dancing Queen in that year, and, speaking of Queen, Bohemian Rhapsody came out that year as well. I tell ya, songs meant something back when I was in high school.

Here is what Rolling Stone magazine had to say about the meaning of the song -

"Pastime Paradise sounds like a parody of a well-meaning protest song with its meaningless shuffle of words ("Consolation/Integration/Verification/of Revelations ... Though the words to "Pastime Paradise" may make you want to run from the room, the music will keep you there."

Nice. Remember, these were the guys who put the album at #56?

Rolling Stone may not have thought much of the lyrics, but I find meaning in them.
"We've been spending too much of our lives
Living in a pastime paradise
Let's start living our lives
Living for the future paradise"

In 1995, Coolio did a rap remake of the song. In his version, the words are less hopeful. And it comes along with an admonition for young black men.



I know it may be hard, but try to see past the silly hairdo and listen to the depth of the words:
"Tell me why are we, so blind to see
That the ones we hurt, are you and me"

When this version came out, I instantly recognized it. Of course, in 1995, our electric toothbrushes and sandals didn't come with Google search apps installed. Back in those days, we had our internet delivered to our doorstep every morning.

So it took me a while to track it down. But when I did, I dusted off the turntable and played it for my daughters. If you can say nothing more of my fathering skills, I took my kids' music education seriously. From the way they rolled their eyes, I could tell that they were very proud to have a father who was practically a professor of musicology. Or, maybe they just saw me as a fat old man trying to convince them that the 70's were cool?

Then, of course, Weird Al made a parody called Amish Paradise. This continues to be a popular karaoke song. In some circles, anyway.

What brought this all up? A good friend of mine, Steve, sent me this video. He knew that I would enjoy the song, since I am also a bearded, singing scientist who is just a bit nutty. Steve did not know my rich history with previous versions of the song.



You may not recognize the rapper in the video. He is IBM Fellow Dr. John Cohn. He is actually a very good speaker and a champion of the cause for getting kids interested in being engineers. If this video can reach just one aspiring rapper and inspire him or her to take a serious look at MIT...

Penelope Cruz - Karaoke junkie

Who woulda believed it?  Penelope Cruz? Karaoke?!?!?!

Here is a quote from her:
"I've gone to karaoke bars in almost every city I have been to. Every time I am on a movie location, we find a karaoke bar and take the crew out."

And another:
"I have a karaoke machine at home. I'm one of those people who do it by themselves when they are alone and I'm not embarrassed to say it."

Her go-to artist? Eminem.

But can she sing? Her singing voice was dubbed in the movie "Volver", but here is a clip of here singing in Nine.


But can she sing? I'm having trouble paying attention to the music.

More Charlie today than yesterday

Tonight, my wife was watching an old episode of Ally McBeal. A song was performed that caught my attention. It's called More Today Than Yesterday. It was released in 1969 as a one hit wonder for the one hit wonder group Spiral Starecase. (Tell the spell checker to shut up, cuz this is the proper misspelling of the group's name.)

Anyway, I like the song. I liked it so much that I dug up the karaoke version, thinking, "I can make that song sound good!" My intuition about this sort of thing isn't always the best. Especially when it comes to trying to sound like guys with really really good very high ranges.

After I decided that this was a song that I could not possibly make sound good, I inexplicably started humming a song from a commercial from way back. A catchy tune... upbeat, jazzy. Sung by Bobby Short. It was from a perfume commercial. How catchy was it? It was released as a 45.Yes, a song from a commercial became a 45!  No, I am not talking about I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, but that's a good guess.

How catchy was the song? I have not heard it since 1976 (back when they still sold 45's), but I still wake up whistling it every morning. Talk about an ear worm!

By now, I am sure I have everyone whistling the song from the Charlie commercial by Revlon.

But was the Charlie song a parody of  More Today Than Yesterday? You be the judge.Try singing  "Every day's a new day." and then sing "... and they call it ... Charlie." I dunno. Call me meshuga, but I think the songs fit together.

In 1993, Revlon came out with another music video perfume commercial for Charlie fragrance. This time they picked the inimitable Little Richard (who I like to imitate, by the way), and paired him up with the gorgeous Cindy Crawford. This time they end in a parody of Little Richard's hit "Good Golly... Charlie... Good Golly .. Charlie."

Gosh darn it, that was fun.

Put down that duckie!!!

I was reminded today of a music video that I saw years ago. The music video might well be my favorite music video of all time. At any rate, it is my favorite music video of today. It features one of my all-time favorite Muppets, Ernie.

And it also features an incredible cast walk-ons, including: Itzhak Perlman, Rhea Perlman, PeeWee Herman, Jane Curtain, John Candy, Winton Marsalais, Joe Williams, Paul Simon, Woodie Guthrie, Dannie DeVito, Jeremy Irons, Ralph Nader, and last but certainly not in any way least, Madeline Kahn.

Here is the video. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did today.

Oh... and not only that, there is an Israeli version of the song under the title "Sim Et Barvazi". The DVD version is bound to be a big hit for Christmas, so order from Walmart early!

Just in case you were wondering, Celia Cruz sings this in Spanish: "suelta el paquito".

Sheep thrills and the tele-osculation device

The Gypsy Songstress and I have a little  running joke about sheep. They're so cute -- they serve as a symbol of our cuddly relationship. When I go on a business trip without her, my wife will hide a stuffed sheep in my luggage to remind me of her. 

The last time we sang "Embraceable Ewe" in a performance, my loved one brought out a little stuffed sheep during my solo part. Silly. When I get email from this delightfully playful woman, she will sometimes sign off with "Love, Ewe". She is my cuddly ewe.

Those of you who have Google mail will know that Google quite thoughtfully provides you with context sensitive ads. That's a polite way of saying that it enhances its ad revenue by displaying ads that are likely to have a higher click-through ratio. It does so by skimming through your emails for keywords that suggest you could have an interest in a certain product.

[Let me point out... The folks at Google are not reading your emails. There is no fellow in the email room at the Google office sniggering over your repeated mispelling of the word "mispelling". Or being titillated by your description of making a peanut butter sandwich. It's all done by a sniggering computer.]

So naturally, when I email my buddy that I just bought a 2 terabyte drive from Tiger Direct, gmail will show me an ad for the 2 terabyte drive that I just bought from Tiger Direct, knowing full well that I will click on the ad to buy another one for my buddy. Gmail knows that I am just that kind of guy.

But Google doesn't always get it right. Somehow it always misses the comma in the last phrase of the email from my wife: "love, ewe". It is intended to mean, of course, "I love you, and I am your cuddly female sheep". Google regularly places an ad for the Love Ewe on my gmail page. "We fully intend that the Love Ewe be used solely as a gag gift or home adornment." Such cute eyes.

Somehow, a little Gershwin tune keeps going through my head: "Embrace me, you sweet inflatable ewe..."

Let me point out... this has nothing to do with inflatable guitars. And nothing at all to do with a recent post on my other blog. Inflatable stuff is just not on my brain, ok?  This is not an obsession of mine. Really. I don't spend all day playing one of the inflatable guitars from my large collection. Or my inflatable saxophones. The inflatable maracas are kinda cool. And I don't even own an inflatable love sheep. At least not yet.

SO... today's topic is "How to use technology to keep the fires burning when you are on a business trip". You can sneak a stuffed lamb into your loved one's luggage to remind him of your undying love. You can (as I have often done) pick up a little stuffed sheep as a gift to remind her that the undying love is reciprocated. You can of course, make economical use of the limited space in a suitcase and pack a Love Ewe. And of course, in the interim, email is a good way to let the other know you are thinking of them.

Technology is so cool when it comes to helping requite long distance love.

Skype is of course another great way to keep in contact. Skype was indispensable on my recent trips to Berlin and Liverpool where my cell phone didn't work. (Us applied mathematician karaoke DJs really do get around!)

Skype also improves on the cell phone experience by adding video. Now, I have not tried one particular thing on Skype video, but I understand from a friend who knew someone who had this cousin... that video Skyping can be used in much the same way that the Love Ewe has not been recommended to be used. I do not endorse this activity, since it is probably regulated by the FCC. In much the same way that the FCC prevents the internet from sharing certain types of images that would have made your grandmother blush.

And that brings me around to the news item that got me going on this topic: the invention of a tele-osculating device. As you can see by the picture below, this very romantic device will allow you to share that ultimate intimacy, a kiss, with your loved one over the internet.

I'll take a set of those, and one of them there blow up sheep. I have another trip to Berlin planned for this fall.

This is your brain on karaoke

Here is another great news story that you may have missed. At least if you are not part of the "in" crowd for karaoke brain research.

Researchers asked subject to sing karaoke while being recorded. The researchers then had them watch the films and hear themselves sing. Meanwhile, the researchers monitored the subjects for signs of embarrassment.
The more damage participants had in the area of the front part of the brain called the pregenual anterior cingulate cortex, the less mortified they were about their singing.

Interesting. People get embarrassed when they sing karaoke? Never happened to me!

A week earlier, I had stumbled upon another article about the anterior cingulate cortex. I understand Time magazine will be doing a feature story on the ACC, since it is rapidly becoming the most popular brain structure.

This other article summarized a research paper where they quizzed a group of volunteers concerning their political leanings, and then did a little brain imaging. Here is where they talk about our favorite part of the brain:

Liberals are linked to larger anterior cingulate cortexes, a region that "monitor(s) uncertainty and conflicts," it said.

"Thus, it is conceivable that individuals with a larger ACC have a higher capacity to tolerate uncertainty and conflicts, allowing them to accept more liberal views."

I am trying to put this all together now... People with damage to the ACC aren't embarrassed by singing karaoke... People with a smaller ACC tend to be more conservative... Ummm... Here is my conclusion -

Avoid inviting Republicans who are poor singers to your next karaoke party.

 

 

Crack down on illegal karaoke houses

This news story caught my attention. It's got is all: karaoke, parlor rooms with scantily clad women, illegal immigrants, $300 bottles of booze. I'm just sad to have missed visiting this place in Alexandria, a suburb of DC.

Was that a typo? Maybe I'm glad to have missed it...  I quote from localkicks:

According to court documents, “High Society” (also known as “Tomato” and “Tomato Garden”) was a Korean karaoke bar/club that advertised as a “room salon,” a club containing private rooms where customers, primarily Korean men, consumed liquor.  Provocatively dressed Korean female hostesses would serve the drinks to and then drink, flirt, sing, and dance with the customers.  A bottle of liquor at High Society/Tomato typically would cost $300 and customers were required to purchase at least one bottle.

I dunno. The $300 minimum is not giving me such a warm fuzzy.

The owners were given light sentences but heavy fines for providing an illegal immigration service for the scantily clad Korean hostesses. They have had to forfeit $4 million in profits they have raked in over the past 4 years.

National Karaoke Week

OMG!  This one almost slipped through my fingers!

Today is the first day of one of one of the most important holidays in my universe. No, I'm not talking about Passover. That started yesterday.

I am talking about National Karaoke Week, April 20 - 26th, 2011. This national holiday is always the fourth week of April. I encourage everyone to go out and support your favorite karaoke joint.  Here are some websites with more information:

http://www.nationalkaraokeweek.com/
http://www.holidayinsights.com/moreholidays/april.htm
http://www.zanyholidays.com/2008/04/national-karaoke-week.html


I also encourage you to give generously to DontStopBelieving.org. This organization has the charter to find a cure for one of the most devastating karaoke addictions in our modern times. People all over the globe are afflicted with an insatiable desire to sing Don't Stop Believin'. They miss work to go sing. They alienate friends and forsake loved ones. If you or someone you know has this debilitating addiction, please direct them to DontStopBelieving.org where they can find the help and support that they so desperately need.

Karaoke in Berlin, part 2

While I was in Berlin, I heard about another karaoke venue that is not to be missed. Did I mention that I missed it? It seems there is a guy who started bringing karaoke gear on his bike to the amphitheater located at Mauer Park. Every Sunday, he shows up at the park and runs the Sunday Bearpit Karaoke Show. The attendance is over 1,000!

 

Here is another link where you can read about the Sunday Bearpit:

http://www.monstersandcritics.com/lifestyle/life/features/article_1632863.php/The-Sunday-Bearpit-Berlin-s-open-air-Karaoke-show

Next time I am Berlin, I will make sure this is on my tour.

Karaoke in Berlin, part 1

I spent this last week in Berlin. Friday night I finally got a chance to feed my karaoke addiction. I visited The Green Mango with Hiroyuki-san. Naturally, if you are in Germany, you need to go there with a Japanese fellow.
The place was hopping. We were lucky to catch the place on a night where there was a bachelorette party. I dunno. Maybe there is some mixture of luck. There were a lot of lovely young ladies, but there was also a male stripper. Maybe it's just me, but I don't normally expect to see guy wearing only a hand towel on stage at a karaoke bar. Must be my strict upbringing!

The song collection is excellent. They claim to have over 150,000 songs. I'm not sure, I didn't count. The books were well put together, with all the pages in plastic cover sheets. I know from personal experience that this is a big pain and expense even for a "tiny" little library of 10,000 songs.

As for the singing... I was quite impressed with several of the singers. In particular, there was a fellow who did two Michael Jackson songs complete with the moves. Excellent. There were at least two others who were great singers.

It seemed to me that most of the songs were German pop songs which I was not familiar with. There were a number of songs that are popular karaoke songs in the US, like "Girls Just Want to Have Fun", and "You Raise Me Up". I was happy to see that one of my favorite numbers, "You're Just Too Good to be True", was well received.

Will I go back there?  Yes... next September!

Julie Newmar

Ok, so I know that Julie Newmar has nothing to do with karaoke, or even with singing. But... I found out something interesting about her, and I just have to share it with somebody!

Julie Newmar is of course known for her portrayal of Cat Woman on the Batman TV show. When I hear her name, that's what I remember. I was only eight years old when the Batman TV series came on, but somehow that face and that tight bodysuit made an impression on my pre-pubescent mind.

Another image of Julie Newmar was firmly lodged in my post-pubescent mind. This image was from People magazine in 1977. At that time, I was old enough to understand the word "sexy" as something other than an abstract concept.

Actually, I don't remember reading the article. In fact, I didn't associate her name with this image until I found it on her official website.

Have I gotten your attention? Ok. Now for the learning part. Julie Newmar was awarded three patents. Really. Notice the heading on the top of the page? Having trouble finding it?  First look at her amazingly voluptuous tush. Then move your eyes slightly to the right and then up near the top of the image.

I am guessing most of the guys missed the word "INVENTORS". Probably because it's outlined text. But, I'm getting to a point here about her amazingly voluptuous tush. Why is her tush so amazingly voluptuous, you may ask? It has to do with two of Newmar's patents.

US Patents 3,914,799 and 4,003,094 are for "Pantyhose with shaping band for cheeky derrier relief". The patent issues the problem that "Usually the more flattening of the wearer's lower abdomen (tummy) that is achieved, the more tendency there is to flatten and denaturalize the wearer's derriere". Flat tummy, flat butt. Women who wear pantyhose generally want the tummy flat, but not the derriere.

The secret of this invention lies in "an elastic shaping band 21 (substantially more elastic than the fabric from which the panty portion 11 of the pantyhose is made and typically of the same material as a conventional waist band) is connected to the rear panty portion 17 and extends from the vicinity of the crotch zone 16 to the vicinity 22 of the elastic waist encircling band 13." (Please refer to the image from the patent for the numbers.

Newmar's other patent (US 3,935,865) is for a brassiere. The purpose of this patent is thus: "Many women want to appear freer in their movements and to give a braless impression, yet they need some support."

She developed a line of pantyhose based on this patent, under the name "Nudemar". I found one reference online that said this line was popular in the 70's and 80's. No doubt the picture in People boosted the sales along with many a tush.

We also learn from this patent that "Breasts of young women tend to be protuberant whereas breasts of older women tend to be pendulous. Protuberant breasts are supported by fibrous tissue strands known as ligaments of Astley Cooper." This brassiere patent also teaches that Howard Hughes developed bras.

As I was relating this information to my wife, a third Julie Newmar memory surfaced in my addled brain. This memory is, oddly enough, also related to patents.

The US Patent and Trademark Office has a page where one can search for patents by looking for inventors, keywords, or the like. Search queries are facilitated through the use of a simple language. To look for my patents, for example, you might type in something like "in/john and in/seymour and is/wi". This means that the IN (inventor name) field of the patent must contain the words "John" and "Seymour", and that the IS (inventor state) must be WI.

Naturally, they need to provide some examples for how to construct queries. One of their examples is "in/newmar-julie". When I first saw this, I just thought it was a cute joke that someone threw in. Little did I know, since I never actually tried typing this example in.

Incidentally, if you key in their example, you will only bring up two of Newmar's patents. The first of her patents is too old to show up in their online database. No patents before 1976 are at this site.

If you will excuse me, I am going to see if I can find some old episodes of Batman.