Kelly Clarkson sings karaoke

Kelly Clarkson took the stage at a karaoke bar in Nashville and (understandably) she thrilled the crowd.

This got me thinking. If Kelly Clarkson showed up at one of my gigs, would I get her up on stage more than the other patrons? First off, I am not sure if I would recognize her, but let's just say that I did. Would she deserve special status and get moved up to the head of the rotation?'

I should explain something before I go on. The gig I run at Bootleggers on Monday nights is very busy. Last Monday night, at 11:00 we realized that we had more than enough song requests in to take us until 2:30 AM. And we stop at 1:00 AM.

Would I let Kelly butt in line? I think I probably would. I mean, wouldn't the folks in the crowd love to go to a free Kelly Clarkson mini-concert? Well. Maybe not. The crowd at Bootleggers is not primarily country. I probably won't have to make this decision, though. I don't expect to see her at one of my gigs.

What if I had a minor celebrity popped in? Like someone who made it to American Idol but didn't win? That actually could happen some day. Danny Gokey is a Milwaukee boy. He placed third in the 2008 - 2009 season. I'm not sure what I would do if he turned in four slips at once.

Danny, if you do stop in to Bootleggers some Monday night, please introduce yourself when you hand me the request slips. I may not recognize you... unless I notice the glasses. Where do you get those glasses, anyway?

Ok, so what if somebody just comes in off the street, and he is fabulous but not at all famous? The crowd stops talking when he starts. At the end of the song, the crowd gives an extended cheer. Do I give this person privileged status? This actually does happen to me. I mean, I'm not the guy that gets the extended cheer. I mean pretty much every night there is at least one singer or two who could make it to the big time.

When I get a great singer like that, I would like to get them on stage more often, but I generally don't. Lemme 'splain...

Here is something that I get pretty much every night. It's 11:30, busiest time of the night. The place is packed, and even if I only brought up singers who were waiting to sing for the first time, it would take 45 minutes to get someone in. Inevitably, there will be a small group of folks who walk in, hand me a slip and say "Am I next?"

I'm sorry. I don't like to be negative. And I don't like to put folks down. But that's a dumb question. You are in a karaoke bar with 150 people. In the ten minutes that you have been here, there were three groups of people that sung. You had to wade through a bunch of people to get to me. Ummm... is there some reason for you to believe that there is nobody else ahead of you?

I will politely explain that I have a lot of people in line that have been waiting a while to sing. And here comes the response that I love. "But I am a great singer!"

Truth be told, only one in five people of the people who tell me they are great singers really are great singers. Generally speaking, the great singers are pretty quiet about their talent.

But aside from that, the comment misses the whole point of karaoke. People don't come out for karaoke on the off chance that they will get to hear a duet with Kelly Clarkson and Danny Gokey. Let's face it. They come to hear themselves sing. They sit and listen patiently while other people sing, but in the end, they just wanna hear themselves.

But Danny or Kelly... just in case you do show up... I'll let you cut to the front of the line. Arrangements for other celebrities will be considered as needed.