karaoke in Ann Arbor

I have just read an article about a karaoke DJ in Ann Arbor Michigan. There is evidently not much different between Milwaukee and Ann Arbor. Here are some quotes from Mark Carlson that I stole from the article.

"If a guy comes up and puts in for a Billy Joel song, he's a karaoke ringer and an unimaginative one."

Hmmm... I'm not sure about this one, Mark. Piano Man is not one of my favorites. It is repetitious with numerous verses that all sound alike and they keep coming repetitiously in a way that seems to repeat again and again before lapsing into yet another repeat of the same melody on the next verse, although you can switch octaves from one verse to another, they kind of all sound the same the way they go over the same notes and chords and kinda the same lyrics, but not the exactly the same although...

But I repeat myself. For five minutes and 46 seconds.

I did hear one great version of it, though. It was sung by three guys who kept the energy going by alternating lines. I was one of the three guys, by the way. I am sure it sounded great from the audience, too.


"If there are more than three people on stage, the performance is going to be awful."

Mark, I think this is almost always true. Except for this one time where three guys got up to sing Piano Man. They were totally awesome. Did I mention that I was one of them?

"I hate taking bribes, even though I could use the money!"

Another of my pet peeves. Like when a guy rushes up to the stage to hand me a slip for Piano Man. There are 417 people ahead of him. He says, "Hey, can I sing next?" I tell him there are 417 people ahead of him. He slaps down two wadded up one dollar bills and says, "My girlfriend wants to hear me sing. She it H-O-T-T hot, and I am gonna get lucky if I sing this for her!" He winks, and I consider this. Is it worth two bucks? I'll piss off 417 people whose idea of fair does not include someone skipping to the front of the line. If Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin came back from the dead, along with Jimmy Hendrix on guitar, they would want him at #418.


"If somebody comes up and says they're going to be great, that's a guarantee they're going to suck. Every time. But that's okay! The whole point of karaoke is that anyone can do it. You say you're going to be awesome? I really don't care. It's karaoke!"


Amen Brother! This must be a universal experience for KJs!  I have never heard someone with an awesome voice tell me ahead of time that they will rock. Never.

When I get someone tell me they are great, it's usually instead of giving me a bribe. "My girlfriend wants to hear me sing. She is h-o-t-t hot. You won't regret letting me sing. People will love it!"

I'm sorry, dude. You're missing the point of karaoke. There are 417 people who came here so that they can get on stage. If they wanted to go to a concert, they would have gone to the Morrison / Joplin / Hendrix concert next door. I understand Ray Charles will be on keyboard.


"People rarely buy me drinks. They just don't think of it, I guess." 

Yeah, same here in Milwaukee. Every once in a while, I get an older guy offering me a drink. Or a younger guy will just hand me a shot without asking. But, I make it a point to not drink when I am KJing. Just me. Professional. And by the way, almost every bar I have worked at offers free drinks to the entertainment.


Someone keeps a long list. It's a list of songs that you should never sing at karaoke. They're musical atrocities or uncreative lay-ups. "Don't Stop Believin'." "Sweet Caroline." "Livin' on a Prayer." "Bohemian Rhapsody."

That someone is me! Here's the list. I surveyed 19 websites that had lists of bad karaoke to compile my list. Here are the rankings for the four songs:
      Don't Stop Believin' is #15.
      Sweet Caroline is #19.
      Livin' on a Prayer is way down at #116
      Bohemian Rhapsody is #14.

Three songs I never want to hear again: 'Piano Man'. 'Wannabe'. 'Baby Got Back'.

Piano Man is #37, and Baby Got Back makes a good showing at #13. Wannabe is just a wannabe. Surprisingly, it did not make it on my list of 184 songs.

I don't want to come off as an expert or anything here. All I have is 32 hours of laborious scientific research behind my list. But Mark, you might want to start hating Paradise by the Dashboard Light. I'm just saying.

The article ends with a fabulous quote that, as far as I'm concerned, sums up the whole meaning of karaoke:

"The best karaoke singers are the ones who get up there and do it like they mean it. They have fun with it, and everybody in the bar has more fun because of that. I don't care what your voice sounds like, just let us hear you!"

Thank you, Mark!