Coverage of Victoria's Secret fashion show

You may be asking yourself why John the Revelator is posting a blog about a fashion show. The connection may seem tenuous, but consider this. Fashions shows, like karaoke, are all about people getting up on stage and making a fools of themselves to music. The only real difference that I can see is that fashion models don't have to be drunk.

I hope these photos that I purloined from Fox News will give you a taste of what the tasty and tasteful ladies will be wearing to the bedroom this coming year. I know I am looking forward to my wife, the Gypsy Songstress modelling these for me!

Starting off the show, we see this refined assemblage of bewitching underthings coupled with an understated Bozo wig. Turquoise and coral with cyan have always been my favorite set of clashing colors.

Next on the runway, we see an equally appealing collage of discordant colors in this combination super-hero costume and para-sailing outfit. Holey Underwear, Batman!

 If you are like me (and let's face it, who isn't?) you probably have a thing for fairies. I mean the kind that run around the woods at night, half nekkid, of course. Wait a sec... I have seen both kinda of fairies doing that. If that's your thing, then you will be glad I included a picture of this enchanting outfit.

And what lingerie ensemble is complete without dual shoulder-mounted parasols to protect those delicate dual shoulder-mounted shoulders from the scorching sun while she walks her dog through the boudoir.

I am proud to say that the dog she is walking is actually our very own shitsu-bichon mix, Truffle. He enjoyed the dog walk on the cat walk so much that he didn't mind having to swallow that pesky umbrella that is poking out of his tummy.

Next up is Stella, looking like a stellated icosahedron in heels. And feathers. Yes. Feathers are always a nice touch.

We have here a darling lady who decided to embroider her Mousketeer ears, and add ribbons. Annette Funicello, eat your heart out.

The outfit below won the hard-fought contest for the most daring use of colors that really don't go together. Ever. This coveted prize was presented by Stevie Wonder.

As I said, these photos are provided by the largess of Fox News. And speaking of largess, I would like to end this charming exhibitionist exhibition with the largess-est of all. What woman would not love to accentuate her caboose with this outfit that is just too-too much. This will definitely be in the package arriving at my doorstop. I cannot wait.