idiogoogling - looking yourself up on Google

Ok, so we have all done it, right?  Typed our name into Google. Looked to see if there is anyone famous? Looked to see if we are actually on the Googledar?

So, I did it today. I know that I do show up on the web. I have this blog. I have a website. I have a whole bunch of patents. I have some work affiliations, like, I am on the board for TAGA. I know of two blogs (1, 2) that reference me. Facebook, LinkedIn... Maybe there is an FBI website with my photo on it? I dunno.

I have tried a number of more directed searches to find links to me. Here are some that find me:

"Milwaukee karaoke" - My website shows up as the first hit!  That's pretty cool.
"Revelator karaoke" - Nine of the hits on the first page are links to me! I pretty much own those words.

"shark Revelator" - This unlikely combination of words shows up twice in the first page. I'm kinda guessing that not many people will be typing in those words. Except of course if you are reading this and then type them in out of curiosity?

Here are a few more very unlikely Google searches where I have made it to the top: "revelaticus", and "tiedyedapiaens". I own these words. After all, I made them up. I hope that "idiogoogling" shows up as my word. "Idio" means "self". And "googling", of course, means "looking stuff up on Google". "Idiogoogling", then, means "looking yourself up on Google".

Maybe I have also claimed ownership of the word "googledar". It's kind of a take off on the phrase "show up on your radar". To show up on the googledar means that Google becomes aware of you.

I like making up words. Maybe someone will start using them?  Boy, wouldn't that be cool? I had a little game I played with a patent attorney I worked with. I tried to coin at least one new word in every patent.

This may seem like just a silly game, but the patent office is ok with this. An inventor is allowed to be his own lexicographer. After all, a patent is about stuff that's new. How can we expect that there is a word for stuff that doesn't exist yet?

Here are some other phrases where I rank high in the googledar: "nude revelator", "Elvis Revelator", "getting discovered karaoke", "Jewish Christmas songs", "karaoke goes to Hollywood". All of these have me showing up in the number two position. Not half bad?  Unlike revelaticus, I could imagine some unsuspecting person actually typing these phrases in!  Well, maybe not the "nude revelator" thing.

Here is another one where I show up at the top: "gypsy Revelator". This one is very heartwarming. My wife, Madelaine, goes by the stage name "Gypsy Songstress". I, of course, go by the stage name "John the Revelator". It has been a marriage made in heaven, and now Google knows it!

I am also very happy that "Madelaine Revelator" also has my website as the first hit. :)  This is good, because a week or so ago, there was an unfortunate blog of mine that showed up. It seems that some unscrupulous individual posted a picture of me along with some other woman named "Madelaine". Same spelling. My wife was understandably upset. That cost me big.

Here are a few other Google searches that turn up links to me: "josh groban revelator"  (#3), "safarioso" (#4), "best slow dance songs"  (#15), "karaoke scenes in movies" (#16). That's cool. :)

I am a little disappointed that my blog post on "worst karaoke songs" does not show up in the first 100 Google hits. I kinda liked that blog post. I mean... it has a practical theme. I put a bunch of time into it. I think I approached the whole subject very methodically and scientifically. There are a lot of sites where people were just throwing out their own opinions about songs that they hated to hear destroyed through karaoke. I was far above that. I did a meta-analysis about people throwing out their own opinions about songs that they hated to hear destroyed through karaoke. This is the stuff of which medical journals are made!

Anyway, it would seem that there is a possibility that a Google search on my name will actually turn up a website about me.

I googled my name. The first hit that is about me is #587.  Sigh.  I'm gonna take a wild guess that there will not be that many people who sift down that far to find me. Anyone who does is likely to be a deranged, obsessive compulsive psychopath. Come to think of it, I sifted down that far to find me. Does that mean...? whatever.

The problem is, there are just too many John Seymours who were famous:

John Seymour wrote about 60 books about self-sufficiency. I actually own one of his books "The Forgotten Crafts". I show it to people and say "hey, look at my book." I mean, the book is mine. I bought it, right?

John Seymour Lucas was an English artist. That's kinda cool.

John Seymour was a composer. Me too. We have a lot in common. He wrote operas. I don't like opera. My wife does. I don't plan on writing an opera, but I may have no choice.

Sir John Seymour was the father of Jane Seymour, who was the queen of England, married King Henry the Eighth. By the way, Jane Seymour is my first cousin. Not the actress who played Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. Her real name was Joyce Frankenburg. Joyce is no relation to me. But my father always told me that we were related to the Jane Seymour who was queen.

There are a few famous John Seymours who are still alive:

 John Seymour was a senator in California.

John Seymour co-authored a book on neuro-linguistic programming. Maybe he likes to invent words, too? He works as a business consultant.

John Seymour and John Seymour are inventors. We have a lot in common.

John Seymour is a golf pro. He and I have a lot in common.


Gosh darn it. I have a lot of competition. Some day I hope to move up in the ranks. If I keep writing blog posts like this, I am sure I will make it up to #586 in no time!